36 Issues

209 Articles

17 Lawsuits

Welcome to the

Intergalactic Missionary Newsletter

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Missionary Lost to Alligator
The London Financial Times

It is with profound regret that we announce Elder Douglas Taylor has apparently been completely devoured by an alligator. While attempting to lure a family into the waters of baptism by strewing cookies along a jungle path leading from a roadway to a...

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WWF Helps Fund New Conference Center
The Book of Mormon

This reporter has uncovered an almost certainly true and shocking fact. Although not yet confirmed by the First Presidency, the Missionary Committee, or the General Presidency of the Relief Society, there is good evidence that the new Conference...

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Editor Wins Poetry Award
This Is Your Third and Final Notice

Once again the Editor of this newsletter has won a major poetry award. His new poem is about the driving spirit of missionary work in the latter days and has touched the hearts of the entire Ricks College grounds maintenance crew, and won him their...

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"Rumor has it that Elder L. Tom Perry had his herdsman's staff (also known as a crosier) converted into a seven foot long umbrella that he calls 'My Little Buddy.'" A return of this and many great classics.

- Jenny Bringhurst, Woodbridge, Va

Keith once read this poem to his Gospel Doctrine class. After hearing the closing lines, some well-meaning listener blurted out, "You've ruined a perfectly good poem!"

- Doug Taylor, Plano, TX

To this day I still think about ‘Teaching Through Dance’ any time anyone talks about sharing the gospel with others. I still wonder how the three degrees of glory can be succinctly conveyed through dance.

- Jeff Jensen, Fort Worth, TX